PAATUM NAANE, BHAAVAMUM NAANE! 
MY MUSINGS WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC!

When I was 4....

AS A KID

When I think back, I realise that  music has been a part and parcel of my life! I have this picture of  me singing on stage when I was four years of 

age. My mother must have made me practice        

umpteen times for that song, I am sure! 

When I was about 5, I used to accompany my mother after school to attend Murugan bhajanai in our neighbourhood which was exclusively for 

ladies.I imbibed that genre of music from there. I used to sleep off halfway during the bhajanai on    my mother’s lap and get up right in time to drink the awesome 'Panagam'that used to be served almost close to the end of the bhajanai session. The bhajanai would generally finish with Om jaya jaya shakthi  which meant time for us to go back home!!

Along with this went on my appa’s  bhajanai  group which was called the Delhi bhajana samaj. They sang Sampradaya bhajans. Janaki Nama smaranam, Jai Jai Rama Rama  used to catch my attention everytime. Why only this, you ask? That is because I have another name Janaki! (in short Jana)To think I was exposed to all this when I was just 5!

MY PARENTS-A BIG INSPIRATION

So with such a background of singing and  music, I did not perceive it as an art or a skill.I always thought it comes naturally to people. Amma is a trained Carnatic singer and appa is an expert with ragams and an ardent music lover. He could sing Hindi film songs sung by K.L.Saigal with as much ease as he could sing western folk, such as, “oh my darling clementine”! He went for Veda classes on weekends and Amma managed to squeeze in time to learn shlokas. So, it was quite obvious that when they sensed that I had a decently good tonal quality in my voice they put me with my first formal music class when I was 6 years old. Initially, it was a group class which soon got converted into an individual class.

MY FORMAL MUSIC LESSONS

So the first harmonium of the family came home! My first guru was a radio artist Dr.Ravindran and his expectations were very high. He made my fundamentals very strong so much so that I became popular with my friends in school because of my singing abilities.But it was always classical. Very soon,this paatu sir hit a jackpot in a lottery and stopped teaching music. That is when I understood what winning a lottery really means!

My next teacher was Haalasyam Sir, from whom I could escape without practising. He brought me from geetham to varnam to a few simple keerthanas. 

I was in class six and had taken Music as my optional subject in SUPW in school.There,Mrs.Roy taught us Hindustani music which was new to me. It seemed easy to me as it was elementary and I could sense the similarities between Carnatic and Hindustani music. But my mind was never ready to sit and practice. 

PLAYING GAMES vs PLAYING THE SRUTHI BOX!!

I would be just playing all the time. Either staapu or pitthu or gitta or elastic or running around on the road playing chain chain, vish amrit or kho kho or simply playing tippi tippi tap or Raja mantri chor sipahi! Television had just come into the market for the first time in India. The first Doordarshan centre was set up in Delhi, the capital. So, the level of distraction was even more! 

I CAUGHT MUSIC!

The only opportunity I got to sing Carnatic music was during golu. “You should not say No when someone asks you to sing, “Amma would prepare me before hand! She would give me compliments on our way back home and make me sing the same song again so that appa could hear !! My brothers, also got familiar with my songs in the process! Appa Amma would listen to the National programme on AIR  every weekend where some great musician would sing. As they enjoyed listening to the singer, they would ask me to identify the ragam on which the song was based. So, I just caught music! 

THE DRIFT!

Then came the drift!! Since my brothers were in high school and needed more attention, my music took a back seat.Obviously, their first child was going to give Boards and the second was just a class behind. This was the time when my second brother, would keep listening to Hindi film songs of RD Burman on the radio. This really influenced me. I loved Hindi film songs,particularly those which had good lyrics.Age!, I was entering teenage! Before that I would play Antakshari in school by just imitating what others sang.Now I was better equipped, thanks to the middle in order! 

CHENNAI AND TEENS!

Very soon appa went abroad on an official posting and I was in Chennai with my cousins, my mama’s family! There came my introduction to Tamil film music. Mama was a member of Mylapore Fine arts club. I heard Parveen Sultana with my cousin there! I was quite surprised to see a North Indian in the South! Ofcourse Carnatic music was compulsory even at mama’s place with V.S.Veeraraghavan bhaghavathar, a veteran,who had even taught my mother and her sisters. This time I was not singing alone, I had a partner in crime, my mama’s daughter! She was older than me and sang better than me. This made my escape easy. I just had to “ join” in her singing! When we sang,we always sang together. Ah! That was such a relief. I would get up in the middle of the class on some pretext or the other. Now I connect the dots. I was in my teens, wild and  free who had to adapt to a new family( though my Patti was around) and to a new environment where parents were not around. My mother used to tell me that my stay in Chennai actually transformed me. I became more responsible and learnt to live in a big group of people at a tender age of 13. I am happy for what happened personally.I studied well,washed my own clothes, became the school’s sports champion but lost on music! My fault totally !! 

BACK WITH A BANG!

Soon, my parents returned and we were back in Delhi. Amma was on the look out for a paatu sir again. This time my guru was Sri Sankara Sarma.A very systematic, punctual and a disciplined teacher.He was a sishya of Alathur brothers and often complimented me by saying that I was a well behaved student. My interest in Carnatic music rose again. I was now singing with the tanpura.With Amma’s guidance I learnt the meaning of the Navagraha keerthanas that I sang. 

COLLEGE DAYS!

By then, it was disco music  with Aap Jaisa koi by Nazia Hassan all over in my peer group. Both my brothers were in their respective hostels. The Pilani guy would teach me Pink Floyd and Jim Morrison and the Allahabad guy introduced me to BoneyEm and ABBA! Appa on his return from Doha had his new set of spools and lps of devotional songs and Carnatic music along with western classical,Hindustani and instrumental music. Amma had started with her Narayaneeyam and Soundarya lahiri shloka classes at home. I finished school and was in college and I had a good mix of all genres of music to listen to. I was so much into music that I sang when I was happy, I sang when I was sad and I also sang when I had to express my mind!! 

I remember my brother and I went and bought lp records of ham kisi se kam nahi and Meera bhajans by Lata Mangeshkar as wedding gift for our amma appa on their 25th anniversary! Though these lps were of our choice and interest, and for the two of us, Amma appa  never complained!! After all,it was music that we had invested in!

RADIO PROGRAMME! 

My music classes went on as usual. My music sir wanted me to sing for Yuva Vani , an off shoot of AIR meant for the younger generation. He made me practice three songs for the voice test. Dr.Vageesh, who later became the director of AIR tested me and cleared me to be allowed to sing for Yuva Vani. I was in college then. A bit over confident,I didn’t carry my music notebook for the recording.And...I forgot the lyrics in the middle of the recording.There was only a single take of what we sang! The mridangam and violin players managed to play for a longer time before I recollected the words and sang again.That was a lesson in life. Always have a back up and carry your notebook before any public performance however well prepared you are! My friend Preethi Nair recorded my voice when it was being aired on the radio and gifted me the cassette.I felt overjoyed to hear my voice on the radio. I got 40 rupees for this .My mother made me buy veshti for my Thatha with that money and to take his blessings.So much of values were inculcated at every step in those days! I am happy I grew in that generation!

MARRIAGE AND THE CHANGE

I gave two more programmes on radio before I got married. Somehow Yuva Vani did not think we remain 'yuva' after we got married!!  The last one was aired just a day after my marriage.Imagine my plight!! The entire family of my in-laws and their relatives were sitting around the radio cum recorder, what was referred to as 2 in 1 in those days,waiting to listen to me.I hid in another room,never came out even once till the whole programme got over! Incidentally, it was my music teacher who suggested my husband’s alliance for matrimony to my mother. So much respect for him! 

I would not say I stopped my musical journey after marriage. It took a different turn.Though I had heard a few ghazals before marriage,it was my new family that put me into the folds of ghazals. AnupJalota,Pankaj Udhas,Jagjit Singh and many more..I loved them all. Even now,my first choice would be to listen a Jagjit Singh number anytime!

 WORK AND MUSIC!

During my teaching days,I would be in every choir with the students! Also,I looked for an opportunity to sing with the students! It helped build rapport with them and was definitely a stress buster! I remember I must have sung “do re me “ every time I taught the Newlands law of octaves while teaching the Periodic Table!

 MY KIDS AND THE LEGACY!

As my kids grew older,I did exactly what my parents did for me.I  also put them into Carnatic music classes! They were born in the Internet generation..so they had a greater exposure to music than I did.They both picked the guitar early in life, one teaching the other! Now they both appreciate music just as much as I do! I can now proudly say that my better half,who never,ever sang before is the singer of our family! He is an expert on karaoke with old Hindi film songs.My son goes on his trips of 'gamakas' once in a while and he does a good job at that! My daughter can gather an audience anywhere with her Bohemian Rhapsody! And for me, I have joined Ashtapathi classes again with my cousin brother during this lockdown. It keeps me sane and helps me explore my roots of Carnatic music once again with greater maturity.

So it seems,music and I are inseparable now. 

Paatum naane bhavamum naane!