Navaratri times!

 Navaratri celebrations in Delhi.. Surprisingly, I never had any tamil friend who would invite me for Navaratri golu! But my mother had her bunch who would not only invite her but also send a chauffeur driven car to pick her up and drop her back home.My mom was such a charismatic lady..she was everybody's guru..even mine.So I would wear a nice saree for the occasion and hop in with my mother in the car as her escort(!) and visit all these homes with her.Each lady would decorate her puja room beautifully, sometimes with golu, sometimes without it. They would all sing shlokas from different religious texts.My mother being their teacher would lead the chanting.I was her assistant, to lend her support when she took a break in between. In the end, the ladies would exchange haldi kumkum and announce the venue for the next day. I would invariably sing a song which most of them would hear every Navaratri from me! This was mandatory being 'mami's' daughter! All in all, I got a taste of our culture even though I lived so far away from the South of India.Our( I mean, my mother's)turn to call the ladies home used to be on Saraswati Puja day( the Navami) This was also the day when I would call all my students,old and new, to my place for collective prayer and reunion. My students would leave their books and notebooks a day before for me to place them for worship.On that day, I would be more aware and dedicated in my prayers because I was being responsible for so many of these little hearts who had trust in MY prayers!! I was blessed for being able to do that and if I still feel blessed  it  is because of KARMA.What you give,you get! My celebrations with my students were definitely not religious. They were more on uniting us all together.. understanding and respecting each other's individuality and presence in the Collective.I had my trusted senior students who would show up on that day to join in the celebrations and help me with it too! I love you all so much, dear children! My own children would keep their books along with my students for the puja.So there used to be a huge pile of books and notebooks, not less than 50 sets atleast!! We would do the puja as a family first and then my appa and amma would join us for aarti. All this before my students would start arriving. It used to be really a hectic day! In the evening I would be with my mother to assist her with her puja celebrations and attend to her friends.Later in the day, we would all sit together and discuss how it all went and how we enjoyed the whole process eating "chundal" as prasadam!! Added to this would be my visit to the local durga bari with my daughter and karthayani temple with my mother during the last three days of Navaratri. This happened every year for almost 20 years! Precious days indeed!!There was this one time when my mother and  my mother in law were together at my place.I was writing my books those days and was really really busy!!! They both made all the arrangements for the ladies pooja and haldi kumkum.What a camaraderie they showed with each other!! Love them both!! I am not going to say I miss those days because I enjoyed them to the core and am immensely satisfied..Today is a new day..a new beginning.Happy Navaratri everybody!

Opt,tick,view🤓

 My thoughts today! ❤️

 Introspection is actually "in-tour inspection".

To "realise" this, you need 'real' eyes! 

Also you must, eliminate to illuminate.

Accomodate far and near vision. Avoid "We shun" angle.

Be a pupil and let this light in.

Focus,interpret and transform your image.

Value your eyes,not your I's.

Shift the blinds from within and see. No one is really blind in this world.

Tears are water that flow and cleanse the heart.Don't hold them in your eyes and make your heart ice "cold". 

Happy birthday Shruti!!

 Meet Shruti Sharma. Today is her birthday..I should be writing her a happy birthday message right?But my fingers move to type a gratitude message for her. 

Here goes our story.

We first met at my cousin's place in NOIDA way back in 1988. She was this cool,smart neighbour of my cousin who literally was family for her. My cousin casually brought her to my place on her next visit where we got talking about the changes required in the education system and how the techniques of teaching were monotonous and boring.( I was working in a school as a teacher that time.)You start this topic with me anytime and you are gone!! My friends who know me well know this trait of mine!! But we both seemed to enjoy this conversation!! Cut.

 My cousin leaves Delhi and Shruti is forgotten. 10 years later,I casually send my resume to an anonymous Publishing House for providing my professional services as a "content reviewer" for their Science textbooks. I was getting bored with my routine job and wanted to bring in some colour to my professional life. And,it happened to reach the hands of Shruti who was their Editor/Manager! Coincidence right?I kept myself anonymous because I was working in a school that time. Soon I got a call from her and she connected my resume with me and asked, "Are you the same Supriya ?" I was not sure to feel happy that I knew her for it was kind of awkward.For some people familiarity helps but I am the kind who works better with strangers! You may laugh,but that is my truth.The next few days were just about work. We spoke over the phone.We both avoided talking about our old acquaintance and talked like absolute professionals! She gave me confidence and told me that I just had to spend an additional 30 minutes per day for a week to go through the textual content that had already been written by an author.Simple addition/deletion of content to suit the needs of the age group it was meant for. Soon I started writing content for a cd that was to be issued with their science books.My 'Intel teach to the future' knowledge of using the computer for teaching came in handy.I wrote stories and tried hyperlinking every story to small concepts in science. The end result was that my CDs had more content than the actual textbook!! This was when Shruti came home for the first time and we met in person!! I still remember the lesson was on the Solar System.From then started her visits to my home and her meeting my family.My mother loved her politeness and affectionate nature. Shruti shared a special bond with my mother. Before coming to my place she would enquire,"Is aunty around?" As if meeting me was just incidental! I always had to be careful about being personal with her as I carried in my head that we had a professional relationship to maintain. Soon I was writing textbooks for their Publishing Company. Every business meeting we had was at my home.We were professional 'friends'. We discussed work,family,life and VALUES,exactly in that order. I realised she had a very soft core that she covered with a hard exterior. 

The Company was soon becoming an extended family for me. I remember addressing their Sales Team before the books were released.The owner, who sat on the dias with me talked about the importance of human values and liked something I spoke about Gandhi and Buddha. I dont recollect much now of what I spoke but I remember Shruti's face very well!! She was coordinating this meeting.The anxiety of making it work..she was,still is the face of the Publication House.She was coordinating with the author,the sales team and the people who had put their money in it!! She had to belong to all and yet give her point of view when required.I saw her vulnerability and strength at the same time!! 

Our meetings became more frequent. and we were definitely family from within yet professional colleagues from the outside. Her son Suryansh tied rakhi to my daughter Smita, and gifted her the book "Little Women"which still holds an important place in our book shelf.My mother loved cooking for her. And Shruti knew that she would get her sambar or avial with my amma around.With me,it was the other way! She liked South Indian khana and she would appreciate whatever was served.There were times when I would cook only after she came home and we would discuss work while I prepared "her" sambar!! So much "concealed" love! Soon she knew everything that was going in my life as much as I did in hers. 

 It was my son's marriage. I had to finish off writing a set of 5 (or was it 8 ??) books before the wedding so that they could be available for the next academic session. So much pressure amidst pleasure! But I did it..with her constant push along with her friendly support. Genuinely laudable HR personality traits!

Thanks to Mr. Gaurav ,her associate, another gem of a person, I worked with these guys for 15 years before I stopped writing. But my association with Shruti continues..unedited,undefined, uninhibited. She was one among the few I called before leaving Delhi.In a world where there are people who connect with others just for their benefits there are also genuine,honest friendships that go beyond work  with no expectations from the other. We still talk..but never about work! Thanks to that moment when I decided to apply for the reviewer's job! This small job got me a rich harvest of a true friend! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHRUTI! And Thank You for being who you are! Wishing you Good Heath,Happiness and A Heart that receives only Love!

Now, JUST your true friend,

 Supriya

TURNING  OVER A NEW LEAF!!

All by itself, yet for all

I know, I know..it's now becoming a bit of an overdose! So, that leaves you with a choice to leave without noticing these leaves and leaf through another page or just look at these green leaves to get inspired to live a life like them.

 So, what do the leaves teach us about life?
 They have perfectly designed  lamina to take in optimum sunlight,  stomata to allow need-based exchange of gases, intricate system of veins and veinlets for the transport of water along their length and breadth, the plastids with chlorophyll to perform photosynthesis, an absolutely verified mechanism for preparing food for their own existence,their fellow parts (of the plant to which they belong) AND the sustenance of the entire ecosystem around them!
 So much to learn! Design your life to derive maximum happiness from your surroundings. Retain only that information which is good for your development.Create your self worth by working hard.Spread cheer to all beings around you. And finally, live a life of co-existence.
And leave a legacy of values ( humus and compost) for the future generations!
Isn't that awesome?!

How I Reached The Lotus Sutra!

Made on Notes (I pad)

Religion to me is the way of living our life. I am born into a Hindu family ( not very traditional but one where prayer was a routine).We worshipped all forms of Gods that exist in our religion.My mother taught me numerous shlokas depending on the situation/ problem I was facing at different times.Reciting these made me feel better and believe that there is "some" super power which is listening to what I am reciting and I am being blessed every time. I now understand that by repeating these mantras I was strengthening my will power and ability to deal with the situation.
As I grew older, the problems seemed to increase with more responsibilities which meant more surrender to the Supreme whom I had never met or seen. But my Science taught me that even electricity cannot be seen or touched.You only experience it,isn't it? So I continued to believe my experiences.Gradually by repetition, it moved to internalising this Energy inside. Whenever the need arose,I could consult this Power sitting inside me that would guide me and I would follow without questioning. You may call this intuition or the sixth sense.But I believe that I developed it because I allowed it to settle inside me. This, I later understood was called Self awareness. Ramana's "who  am I" question..
I began reading books on Self awareness  and watched TV programs on them. Echart Tolle, Sadguru Jaggi Vasudev, Jaya Row.. to name a few. While teaching in school, my day used to start at 5.30 AM as I had to catch the School bus at 6.45AM. which meant that I had to finish off with the minimum essential work before I left. My day would end by 11PM at night ( teaching job in India involves a major task of checking notebooks everyday!! Almost 4 sets of 40 notebooks everyday, particularly if you are a Maths teacher!!) Just before retiring for the day, I got hooked to watching Jaya Row who spoke in English on Bhagwad Geeta every day...Astha channel ..just 15 minutes in all. My first virtual guru! She sounded contemporary and with a good sense of humor and gave many analogies that I could connect with. Her program was followed by Sukhobodhananda who was also good but a little heavy on my tired brain. This gave me energy to sustain my existence in the family life balancing it with my professional work. This went on, followed by Brahmakumaris sister Shivani and many more who spoke in Hindi and English. My prayer time got restricted and I went deeper into understanding life per se. Situations came, all this knowledge ( or wisdom?) taught me to deal with every obstacle that I faced. I had that "power" inside now.
Soon,I was teaching students at my own institute.It was easier now to convey my thoughts to my students.Relating Science with Spirituality became normal for me.It had become my way of life.
My own children were in their teens.They questioned, we discussed,we argued and finally chose to go by what suited us best. I don't want to know if they believe in what I believe or not. We can all make our guesses about God..isn't it.To each, his own.
Then, one day, I happened to meet my father's old friend/ colleague's daughter, who introduced me to Nichiren Buddhism. I attended a few discussions at her place where I found that it was easily adaptable. I didnot get involved with the activities of the Group though I enjoyed just being there. There were a lot of people going for it too.
I believe in devotion. It can come in any form...simply by even "talking" to God?

So how is all this related to the picture that I have drawn? My mother used to often tell me that my father is like a lotus in a pond. And the explanation she gave was that wherever he was,in any situation, or in any company, he would know to attach himself   physically yet be detached emotionally. That I thought was the highest level of self awareness!
The reaching of Buddhahood. A lotus lives in muddy waters,yet stands apart pure and untouched by its surroundings. Rising and blooming above the murk is enlightenment. That is what the lotus teaches us says Buddhism.
We have the innate ability to overcome any problem or difficulty that we may encounter in life. The Lotus Sutra
works as a guideline to conduct one's life with boundless compassion, wisdom and courage inherent in us.The idea is not to escape from your problems but to deal with them,develop your inner state and make youself fearless and peaceful at all times. This done, you rise up like the Lotus, enlightened and pure though surrounded by the dirty waters of the world. This state of being is called Buddhahood.

Nam myoho renge kyo!

 AND THE ART THERAPY CONTINUES....

When you don't have paints and brushes at home and Amazon refuses to send it to your location, you believe in your instincts and this is what happens. Use 'doodle' on Notes and try painting! Surprisingly, this also is really satisfying! The main point is that my own expectations about the outcome of what I make is not great. So,anything that emerges finally seems better than what I had imagined! I have to manage with this till my acrylic  paints actually reach home. So my finger was my  brush  till I got a stylus to explore the limited colors that  are available on the color pad! It  is almost a minimalist experience!

 

 

 

 
 

,

 Tamaso ma Jyotir gamaya!

I have spent most of my life teaching Science to school children.I have this queer habit of relating anything that I teach to the daily experiences of my students.Besides discussing the practical applications of science in our life I have always enjoyed discussing how to conduct ourselves "scientifically" in life too. I simply  find an analogy in life to different concepts of Science. I feel this works as a 'Hot stove rule' as it reaches the young minds immediately and quickly. Call these  'Personal values' or 'Life skills', which ever way you perceive them. 

Today is Guru Purnima Day.I have been thinking and stretching my mind around the ramifications and meanings  brought forward by the Laws of Motion proposed by Newton and how it can be applied to our life.  
I just thought of writing something connecting the Guru,who gives us the LAWS OF LIFE with  NEWTON'S  LAWS OF MOTION.

THE FIRST LAW (THE LAW OF INERTIA)  

An object at rest remains at rest, or if in motion, remains in motion at a constant velocity unless acted on by a net external force. This tendency of the body to resist a change in its state of rest or of motion is called inertia.

I like to call this state of Inertia as the ‘Tamasic’ state.(the state of inactivity according to Indian philosophy). A person in tamasic state is lazy and does not like to do any positive action or may continue to do wrong actions in life due to either inertia of motion (not willing to move away from/ stop this behavior) or due to inertia of direction (nobody to guide). And, the amount of inertia is directly proportional to the mass (amount of ignorance) of the body.

A tamasic mind can be moulded to a sattvic one( Sattva is the quality of goodness, positivity, truth, peacefulness, and virtuousness that is drawn towards wisdom and good existence) by the grace of a great teacher or Guru.(the external force)

The ability to initiate the change and to stop being how we already are is always difficult because we have to overcome the existing forces within us (comfort level,inhibitions,lethargy) that may be greater than the external force (extrinsically motivating factor) that is being applied on us. So, the external force has to be greater than the forces currently acting on us in order to move us from this state of inertia.

The Guru,therefore, has to be more knowledgeable and commanding to be able to counter all the resistances that the student offers before he willingly follows Her/Him and takes to  the new path of Learning.

Here I leave you with an open ended question. Do you really need to seek an external Guru? Can’t you be your own Guru and bring in this change? Can't we internalize our Guru and be guided by that Force? 

Paulo Coelho in his book, “The Alchemist” says, “When you really want something to happen, the whole world conspires to help you achieve it”. So if you could develop that unbalanced force to break your inertia of negative  notions within yourself, you could perhaps move ahead from all the difficulties in life.

THE SECOND LAW

The rate of change of momentum produced in a body is directly proportional to force acting on it .For a constant mass, force is equal to the product of mass and acceleration. This is written in mathematical form as F = ma

Scientifically, if you double the force, you double the acceleration, but if you double the mass, you cut the acceleration in half. Applying this to life is easy.

 When the magnitude of the force (The power of the Guru/ your willingness to change/transform) is very high , the process of learning also gets accelerated. And if you increase the mass (the load of ignorance,destruction and vices), the attainment of the goals gets proportionately decelerated.

So when you set your achievement goals, you must also work conscientiously( increase the force) towards achieving them if you want to see speedy (accelerated) results. This holds true even with simple habits like starting your day with a daily workout routine or reading a chapter in a book !

THE THIRD LAW  For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

As you sow, so shall you reap. Or ,as the Law of karma suggests, one has to face the consequences of one’s actions in the form of reactions in their lifetime. 

Ofcourse,this law of Cause and Effect may not be as spontaneous as in the physical plane where for every action we can see an immediate reaction. At the metaphysical level, the reaction reaches us in a cumulative form and appears to fall heavily on us!

By this logic,when our actions are filled with love, we receive love as a reaction . What you give, you get. The law of Attraction also follows this which is based on the idea that “Like always attracts like.” Positivity in actions result in positive consequences. The same holds true for negative thoughts,actions and behaviour . 

So, what is the role of Guru in this? Your inner conscience is your Guru. This Guru,(power) guides you towards the path of Dharma,to decide what is right and what is wrong, to understand the duality in nature and to sift information. Guru is like that policeman inside you who directs you to stop ,wait and go even in the absence of a real one on the road!

So,today on Guru Purnima Day, I dedicate this blog to all my Gurus who have shaped me to become the person that I am today. 
 Tamaso ma Jyotir gamaya!

LETTING THEM BE!!

I recently wrote this on Facebook for my students who are now parents to toddlers.

   " This will be particularly useful to my 'students' who are already married and have small babies who look upto them as role models in their new world. If you are in doubt,think about how I dealt with you!! 😀😀

If you think your child doesn't obey, talk to me and I shall remind you of how you were as a kid!!

I have always believed that there are no problem children,there are only problem parents! If you are finding it difficult to handle your child,somewhere, something is wrong with you!! Keep that in mind.

Pampering your child is good! Let them realize that they are loved. Shouting and screaming at them shows your lack of discipline!!

As a teacher, I have had many parents come to me with issues about their children when the situation was going overboard and they were finding it difficult to handle the situation. I appreciate those parents to have opened up and released their anxiety about their kids.It never was academics that was an issue! Get into the root cause..

Bubble!! Break the bubble,before it grows too big!

Stop your do's and don'ts..many of you parents may recollect my saying this! Let them perceive and conceive their own do's and don'ts with your support.

 We donot want simulated models of us..we want to see a new child who knows just to  'be'!! To be most comfortable in the form they are!"

I just thought of elaborating this post a bit by adding my own experiences to it.

A student from school

I had a student named A.P (in Middle School) who was just an ordinary child with a father who had extraordinary expectations from him.This boy had missed attending school  for a few months together due to some health reasons. All the teachers were told by the Principal to take special classes for this boy to help him cover the backlog and to bring him quickly to the level of the class. His mother copied all the classwork and homework for him.But unfortunately, despite all our efforts,he had to repeat the Grade for one more year.I was  his Class Teacher for the second time.He had lost  all  his friends as they had now moved to a class  senior to him.A.P. was in his teens- very tall for his age and played cricket well.He was quiet and shy which could be interpreted as being well-behaved,though I don't think it is true.Being shy and being well behaved are two different traits.

 One day when I was teaching A.P. separately he told me that how much ever he tried he was not able to cope with academics. I sensed a feeling of loss in him somewhere.So, I decided to experiment with him. From the very next day I gave him simple chores to assist me.I announced him as my 'Assistant' to the class. I would tell him to pick stuff from the top shelf of the cupboard by telling him that it would be easy for him to do that because of his height.That was a way of telling him that even I was not capable of doing certain things that he could do. I spoke to the games teacher to include him in the cricket team.I would stand and watch him play and appreciate him when he played well.Slowly, the rest of the class started considering him as an ace cricketer! He became friends with the other children of the class.

Giving a responsibility was good for his self esteem and he improved in all aspects in a couple of months including his studies. A few nice words of appreciation in front of the class and in the playground was enough to make him work more.We shared a special bond.I came to know that he liked singing and baking.He would sing Mukesh’s songs for me and would even get me cakes that he would bake himself. A good memory to cherish!

 Now this incident happened in school.The same approach can be tried by parents at home. Parents should not  try to fix everything for their child in an instant.There are no quick fix solutions for certain issues. Instead, find ways of making your child self reliant.They need not be perfect in what they do,but let them attempt doing it themselves. A daily conversation interspersed with little praises will work like a constant reminder to the child of his capabilities even during bad days. 

Another tip that I would suggest to parents  is to ask three questions to your child about him/her everyday. It need not  or rather should not be studies related. It could be social or emotional or behavioral.Anything relating to the experiences of the child in his/her everyday life. 

Personally speaking,I think the most important aspect of parenting is giving the child enough family time.Play with them,sing with them,dance with them and definitely laugh with with them!  Keep time for reading books with them too! 

Experiments with my own children

 I did a lot of crazy stuff to just keep my kids occupied while I did the regular mundane chores of domesticity. I  pretended to talk to the vegetables and dal and rice in front of my daughter who was just three as if I was narrating a story to her.Or when I put the clothes in the washing machine, very often it would be accompanied by whoosh and waash and other exclamations to create the sound effects! But it was fun! The kids would laugh and my tasks were done with ease! This was also a kind of informal learning where they got familiar with the names of different things around them. I remember creating rotis of different shapes(like an elephant or a duck or a fish) and make them guess what they were eating. Your babies need your time!! And in this fleeting time, try to create   pleasant memories for them!( Those were my dad's words to me!) I would intentionally give the names of the trees as we walked in the park. The idea was not to test them but to familiarize them with their surroundings informally.Talk,talk,talk!! Talk to them about everything! They can never find this pleasure of being with you in a book or a toy! 

 We would also read  a lot of books together.I never bought expensive books or toys for them.Firstly I never believed in spending money on toys (books were ok!) and children don't go by the glossiness of a book really.What matters to them is the time given to them by the parents to be with them.We played more with self designed toys; many toys were made by their Tatha (my dad) who was their best friend while they grew up!

We would identify good behaviour and bad behaviour from the stories we read.Many a times,we would informally create a gratitude circle by thanking all the different people who are helping us live our lives comfortably.And that would include trees and animals too!

My daughter was five years old when we became members of the local library. I had to play a trick to initiate her into reading. I remember this book was a collection of fairy tales. I read out the first page aloud to her and left the book in front of her and left saying that I had some urgent work to attend to .My reading had created  enough curiosity in her that she picked the book and read the rest of the story herself! Ever since ,she has never stopped reading books!!

So where does the father come in the picture of parenting? There is no 'special' role for the father. He could also do all that the mother can do! In our family,the father has contributed more in providing the Humour quotient! Both the kids liked to be taught by their appa as he was funny and made them laugh! It used to get on my nerves sometimes as the purpose for which he was made to be with them would not be solved.But in retrospect,I feel it was ok considering he had a different style of dealing with the kids. He was the one to ensure discipline at home which I think is very important too. He set  clear boundaries of space, activities and expenditure for the family.

Both the parents may differ in their parenting styles (like ours!!) but it is always good to be giving and forgiving at  times. You are their role models.. remember!

It is important for children to see the bonding between parents. You can do a bit of PDA to make your kids happy. Just have a family hug with the kids once in a while and see them smile! There is no age bar for this! 

Another important observation that I would like to share from my personal experience is that since each child is different, love your child in a way he or she understands your gesture .My son would need me around him all the time! It used to be funny to watch him follow me to every room that I went.So letting him be with us always was our way of showing him our love. My daughter, on the contrary, would rather be in her own space most of the time but would require her goodnight hug and kiss every night before going to bed! Small differences among the kids,if understood, can make really big differences in their lives! 

Finally,before I conclude,at any age, when they come to you ,for any reason, accept them into your folds without questions. Put yourself in their shoes .And when you listen to them,do so with patience and give advice only when asked. Most times, they just want to be heard.

There are bigger issues with grown up kids that we can discuss some other time!

Yes..last word. Wean them off early in life to fend for themselves if you really want to see them become independent and self sufficient. They have to learn their lessons in life in their own way. 

This is just like flying a kite.You allow the kite to  soar high in the sky. Give as much support as possible to let it rise but hold the spool tight within your hands to pull the thread fast when the kite appears to lose direction!

PAATUM NAANE, BHAAVAMUM NAANE! 
MY MUSINGS WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC!

When I was 4....

AS A KID

When I think back, I realise that  music has been a part and parcel of my life! I have this picture of  me singing on stage when I was four years of 

age. My mother must have made me practice        

umpteen times for that song, I am sure! 

When I was about 5, I used to accompany my mother after school to attend Murugan bhajanai in our neighbourhood which was exclusively for 

ladies.I imbibed that genre of music from there. I used to sleep off halfway during the bhajanai on    my mother’s lap and get up right in time to drink the awesome 'Panagam'that used to be served almost close to the end of the bhajanai session. The bhajanai would generally finish with Om jaya jaya shakthi  which meant time for us to go back home!!

Along with this went on my appa’s  bhajanai  group which was called the Delhi bhajana samaj. They sang Sampradaya bhajans. Janaki Nama smaranam, Jai Jai Rama Rama  used to catch my attention everytime. Why only this, you ask? That is because I have another name Janaki! (in short Jana)To think I was exposed to all this when I was just 5!

MY PARENTS-A BIG INSPIRATION

So with such a background of singing and  music, I did not perceive it as an art or a skill.I always thought it comes naturally to people. Amma is a trained Carnatic singer and appa is an expert with ragams and an ardent music lover. He could sing Hindi film songs sung by K.L.Saigal with as much ease as he could sing western folk, such as, “oh my darling clementine”! He went for Veda classes on weekends and Amma managed to squeeze in time to learn shlokas. So, it was quite obvious that when they sensed that I had a decently good tonal quality in my voice they put me with my first formal music class when I was 6 years old. Initially, it was a group class which soon got converted into an individual class.

MY FORMAL MUSIC LESSONS

So the first harmonium of the family came home! My first guru was a radio artist Dr.Ravindran and his expectations were very high. He made my fundamentals very strong so much so that I became popular with my friends in school because of my singing abilities.But it was always classical. Very soon,this paatu sir hit a jackpot in a lottery and stopped teaching music. That is when I understood what winning a lottery really means!

My next teacher was Haalasyam Sir, from whom I could escape without practising. He brought me from geetham to varnam to a few simple keerthanas. 

I was in class six and had taken Music as my optional subject in SUPW in school.There,Mrs.Roy taught us Hindustani music which was new to me. It seemed easy to me as it was elementary and I could sense the similarities between Carnatic and Hindustani music. But my mind was never ready to sit and practice. 

PLAYING GAMES vs PLAYING THE SRUTHI BOX!!

I would be just playing all the time. Either staapu or pitthu or gitta or elastic or running around on the road playing chain chain, vish amrit or kho kho or simply playing tippi tippi tap or Raja mantri chor sipahi! Television had just come into the market for the first time in India. The first Doordarshan centre was set up in Delhi, the capital. So, the level of distraction was even more! 

I CAUGHT MUSIC!

The only opportunity I got to sing Carnatic music was during golu. “You should not say No when someone asks you to sing, “Amma would prepare me before hand! She would give me compliments on our way back home and make me sing the same song again so that appa could hear !! My brothers, also got familiar with my songs in the process! Appa Amma would listen to the National programme on AIR  every weekend where some great musician would sing. As they enjoyed listening to the singer, they would ask me to identify the ragam on which the song was based. So, I just caught music! 

THE DRIFT!

Then came the drift!! Since my brothers were in high school and needed more attention, my music took a back seat.Obviously, their first child was going to give Boards and the second was just a class behind. This was the time when my second brother, would keep listening to Hindi film songs of RD Burman on the radio. This really influenced me. I loved Hindi film songs,particularly those which had good lyrics.Age!, I was entering teenage! Before that I would play Antakshari in school by just imitating what others sang.Now I was better equipped, thanks to the middle in order! 

CHENNAI AND TEENS!

Very soon appa went abroad on an official posting and I was in Chennai with my cousins, my mama’s family! There came my introduction to Tamil film music. Mama was a member of Mylapore Fine arts club. I heard Parveen Sultana with my cousin there! I was quite surprised to see a North Indian in the South! Ofcourse Carnatic music was compulsory even at mama’s place with V.S.Veeraraghavan bhaghavathar, a veteran,who had even taught my mother and her sisters. This time I was not singing alone, I had a partner in crime, my mama’s daughter! She was older than me and sang better than me. This made my escape easy. I just had to “ join” in her singing! When we sang,we always sang together. Ah! That was such a relief. I would get up in the middle of the class on some pretext or the other. Now I connect the dots. I was in my teens, wild and  free who had to adapt to a new family( though my Patti was around) and to a new environment where parents were not around. My mother used to tell me that my stay in Chennai actually transformed me. I became more responsible and learnt to live in a big group of people at a tender age of 13. I am happy for what happened personally.I studied well,washed my own clothes, became the school’s sports champion but lost on music! My fault totally !! 

BACK WITH A BANG!

Soon, my parents returned and we were back in Delhi. Amma was on the look out for a paatu sir again. This time my guru was Sri Sankara Sarma.A very systematic, punctual and a disciplined teacher.He was a sishya of Alathur brothers and often complimented me by saying that I was a well behaved student. My interest in Carnatic music rose again. I was now singing with the tanpura.With Amma’s guidance I learnt the meaning of the Navagraha keerthanas that I sang. 

COLLEGE DAYS!

By then, it was disco music  with Aap Jaisa koi by Nazia Hassan all over in my peer group. Both my brothers were in their respective hostels. The Pilani guy would teach me Pink Floyd and Jim Morrison and the Allahabad guy introduced me to BoneyEm and ABBA! Appa on his return from Doha had his new set of spools and lps of devotional songs and Carnatic music along with western classical,Hindustani and instrumental music. Amma had started with her Narayaneeyam and Soundarya lahiri shloka classes at home. I finished school and was in college and I had a good mix of all genres of music to listen to. I was so much into music that I sang when I was happy, I sang when I was sad and I also sang when I had to express my mind!! 

I remember my brother and I went and bought lp records of ham kisi se kam nahi and Meera bhajans by Lata Mangeshkar as wedding gift for our amma appa on their 25th anniversary! Though these lps were of our choice and interest, and for the two of us, Amma appa  never complained!! After all,it was music that we had invested in!

RADIO PROGRAMME! 

My music classes went on as usual. My music sir wanted me to sing for Yuva Vani , an off shoot of AIR meant for the younger generation. He made me practice three songs for the voice test. Dr.Vageesh, who later became the director of AIR tested me and cleared me to be allowed to sing for Yuva Vani. I was in college then. A bit over confident,I didn’t carry my music notebook for the recording.And...I forgot the lyrics in the middle of the recording.There was only a single take of what we sang! The mridangam and violin players managed to play for a longer time before I recollected the words and sang again.That was a lesson in life. Always have a back up and carry your notebook before any public performance however well prepared you are! My friend Preethi Nair recorded my voice when it was being aired on the radio and gifted me the cassette.I felt overjoyed to hear my voice on the radio. I got 40 rupees for this .My mother made me buy veshti for my Thatha with that money and to take his blessings.So much of values were inculcated at every step in those days! I am happy I grew in that generation!

MARRIAGE AND THE CHANGE

I gave two more programmes on radio before I got married. Somehow Yuva Vani did not think we remain 'yuva' after we got married!!  The last one was aired just a day after my marriage.Imagine my plight!! The entire family of my in-laws and their relatives were sitting around the radio cum recorder, what was referred to as 2 in 1 in those days,waiting to listen to me.I hid in another room,never came out even once till the whole programme got over! Incidentally, it was my music teacher who suggested my husband’s alliance for matrimony to my mother. So much respect for him! 

I would not say I stopped my musical journey after marriage. It took a different turn.Though I had heard a few ghazals before marriage,it was my new family that put me into the folds of ghazals. AnupJalota,Pankaj Udhas,Jagjit Singh and many more..I loved them all. Even now,my first choice would be to listen a Jagjit Singh number anytime!

 WORK AND MUSIC!

During my teaching days,I would be in every choir with the students! Also,I looked for an opportunity to sing with the students! It helped build rapport with them and was definitely a stress buster! I remember I must have sung “do re me “ every time I taught the Newlands law of octaves while teaching the Periodic Table!

 MY KIDS AND THE LEGACY!

As my kids grew older,I did exactly what my parents did for me.I  also put them into Carnatic music classes! They were born in the Internet generation..so they had a greater exposure to music than I did.They both picked the guitar early in life, one teaching the other! Now they both appreciate music just as much as I do! I can now proudly say that my better half,who never,ever sang before is the singer of our family! He is an expert on karaoke with old Hindi film songs.My son goes on his trips of 'gamakas' once in a while and he does a good job at that! My daughter can gather an audience anywhere with her Bohemian Rhapsody! And for me, I have joined Ashtapathi classes again with my cousin brother during this lockdown. It keeps me sane and helps me explore my roots of Carnatic music once again with greater maturity.

So it seems,music and I are inseparable now. 

Paatum naane bhavamum naane!

Why the Coconut tree as a topic you ask?
I have always admired the coconut tree for a lot of reasons! My grandparents were from Palakkad  which is in Kerala (which literally means ‘land of coconut trees’). Even though Covai,where I live now, doesn’t seem to have the same level of green terrain as Kerala , it has enough trees to lure you to stand and admire them from wherever you are!! Here's my poem on my favorite tree!

My dear Coconut tree!

Oh! My dear Coconut tree!
Do you feel lonely or do you feel free?

Up above, far from the ground,                

Are you like a saint very profound?

Or do you miss the crowd below

Of noisy people and their bellow?

I wonder what goes in your mind!

Do you think we should be more gentle, more kind?

And suddenly your fruit drops heavily down,

Our hearts beat faster and many of us frown!

So what exactly is the intention that goes,

Behind this unruly act of creating chaos?

 Let me guess

Behind this mess,

You warn us to just halt and pause

Before we fall on the slippery moss

Of emotions and pain and baggages unknown

That we carried in life so long as our own.

Please tell me this is true,

How I wish I could speak with you!

And then, as we sip your water and drink                  

You press the refresh button of how we think.

You make us as nourishing as you are.

To flow freely again, leaving no scar.

I love you! I need you around me all the time,

Dear friend, you are my guide, sweet and sublime!

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Painted the pot with coconut trees

FAMILY DETAILS

Being a  student of science, I was curious to check its background. I found out that  its scientific name is  Cocas nucifera and it  is a member of     the family Arecaceae (palm family). It is the only species in the Cocos genus. The name comes from the old Portuguese and Spanish word coco, meaning 'head' after the three indentations on the coconut shell that resemble facial features. The fruit, is, botanically, a drupe, not a nut.

THE LESSON

• I have always felt that a coconut tree stands to give us a lesson in life. It is truly a ‘Kalpavriksha’ - a tree that provides all necessities of life.
•  It represents versatility and resourcefulness as practically all of its parts are useful.
•  Its way of growing straight and tall teaches us about uprightness.
•  Its fruits produced in plenty remind us of the abundance that the Universe has provided us .
• It also compels us to be giving ,kind and altruistic.
• It sways during windy and stormy days, yet remains calm in stable weather!
•  The taller it grows, the more commited it becomes to face more trials and tribulations. 
• Its ability to face the vagaries of nature with strength denotes self belief and inspires us to be undeterred and remain focused at all times. 
• Even when the winds are strong, the tree bends itself, but never breaks. This is like an upright person who would never compromise on her/his  principles and emerge victorious in all adversities.
•  Very often, it seems to be saying, This too shall pass!
• "If  you want to go far, go in a group, if you want to go faster go alone". The coconut tree does just that. Sometimes it stands solitarily as a divider between houses. And sometimes there is a crowd of them together bordering roads. So,as people, we may have to take  some decisions alone and sometimes we may have to think collectively. Whatever be the situation,  do not ever lose hope and move on with determination and with a smile. Don’t  restrict yourself  because remember, sky is the limit.